As I wrote a friend of mine last night…I haven’t had much time to e-mail or blog lately. I’ve been rather consumed with the business of life right here under my nose. I do enjoy blogging and reading other blogs, but I’ve spent the past few months really downsizing my life and trying to make time only for those things that are a high priority. For me, that is my family and church. After I take care of those things, I don’t seem to have much time left for anything else. As I’m heading for my mid-forties, I don’t really even care much anymore if I am Super Woman! That is actually a relief in many ways. It becomes a hard burden to carry.

But, that does not mean that I don’t miss the blogging at times…the release of some aggravation or just rambling on about something. That does not mean that friendships are any less important in my life. They are just in more of a prayer mode at this point rather than face-to-face fellowship. I do pray that changes soon,  because I do believe that the Bible puts a bit of importance on those friendships between Believers. We are to bear the burdens of others, build them up, encourage.

So anyway…before I update, I would just like to mention the amount of filthy spam I’ve had on here while I’ve been gone. I’ve cleared it out occasionally when I’ve stopped by and haven’t had time to blog. That aggravates me…because that in itself takes time. It is very sad to see this world so occupied with filth. It affects us everywhere. I know this site can be accessed by whomever wants to…but it certainly annoys me that stuff like that can get through and be on here for anyone to see. So, I do apologize to those that have stopped by and seen that garbage.

Our oldest daughter’s boyfriend was here this past week end for a short visit. He wanted it to be kept a secret…so I complied. It was great to spend some time with him and get to know him better. He fits right into our family! For those that are interested, there are some great pictures of them on facebook.

Our second oldest is doing really well in upstate New York at Bible college. She will be home in about a month for the holidays. She is getting tired though between classes and work schedule, so please keep her in prayer.

The next three children are doing great. Home schooling the two is wonderful. We are having a very productive year so far. I’m up to date on my lesson plans and they are both right on schedule if not ahead. Amazing what devoting a little time to it will do! LOL All last year I felt like I was doing ‘catch-up’.

Our family had struggled with some church decisions for the past few months and we’ve been praying about that. We have worked out some things and it has been amazing to see God work already. We have started back with AWANA…all of us involved on Wednesday nights. Last Wednesday was our first night and it was refreshing to be back again. I didn’t realize I had missed it so much. Our youngest was in the Cubbie room and she had a ball. She won’t even go to Sunday School by herself. But she stayed in there the entire time without a peep. That was an answer to prayer! We will be making gingerbread houses again this year for the Christmas party. They are a lot of work, but fun too. It’s always a surprise to see the way they turn out.

Today is the day! The day when I  HAVE to get out in the yard and wrap things up for the winter. I’ve not done any yard work since mid-August. Our son has mowed and kept sticks cleaned up…but the little details have not been attended to and it looks a little ragged out there. I’m still shaking myself into November! It can’t be here already. But, today is the day and I’m relieved to finish it up until next spring when I’ll be ready to tackle it all again.

Well, onto some baking. We have a pot-luck tomorrow and I always try to take a couple of items. I think we eat half of what is there! I’m trying a chocolate truffle pie…no pie crust and that is just fine with me! My husband wanted mashed potatoes for some reason, so I will make those today and put them into the crock pot to heat up at church. So, I’m eager to get started. When the weather cools I go into a cooking mood!

I pray your fall days are going well!

What a leading question. One that has been going over and over in my mind over the past month or so. Along with the unpacking and setting up our home, starting another home- school year, I’ve been struggling with that question. I used to think I could answer that quickly and in the affirmative and now I have to give it a little more thought.

What is ‘It’, in the above title? ‘It’ encompasses the last almost 23 years of my life. One of the biggest reasons I always felt that I was here in this life, my job to do. ‘It’ is my marriage and family.

I have the unique situation that many families share of having children old enough to be on their own and a last child barely out of diapers. I have struggled with this since the moment I knew I was pregnant again with our now three year old. Before I was married I always thought I would have a couple children, live in suburbia, be on the PTA and attend all the children’s games. They would then go to college, I would go back to work or school and they would find perfect mates and I would be a wonderful grandmother. Of course during all of that I would have a perfect marriage to the man of my dreams and he would have a successful career and we would go away on terrific vacations until he retired and then we would travel together to exotic places.

WHAT?!  I just shook myself awake…AGAIN!

My life has traveled on with me as a willing rider, most of the time. I’ve generally been pretty content with my life as a whole. Yes, there have been bumps and detours along the way, but we have weathered them.

Then, our oldest went away to college while our youngest was still in diapers. That is obviously NOT the way my dream had gone. I was supposed to have been planning my new career or at least enrolling in college courses. Then our oldest graduated and the second oldest went away to college and the oldest moved back in again, but as an ADULT!

Now, the youngest is out of diapers, but I have two more children older than her needing home-schooling, guidance, training and teaching. Am I up for that task? Most days I don’t feel like it anymore. Because now I know the outcome of those younger years with your children. Not everything goes as you expect. Our two oldest are wonderful young adults and they have made better decisions for their lives than what I did at their ages…but my mind keeps telling me I’m through and the physical reality of my life is that I am not. Far from it as a matter of fact.

Yes, I am thankful for my children, all five of them. God has a certain plan for my life and our lives in this. But, we all go through slumps in our lives when we wonder if we are up for the challenge. This is one of those times for me. Yes, I have another chance to do even better this time with our three youngest. Hopefully correct some of the mistakes I made with the two oldest. And I’m sure make a whole new set of mistakes.

So, please pray for me as I travel over this speed bump. I feel as though I am caught between two worlds at times. The world of a young mother…full of expectations for her child’s future and the world of an older mother…looking back on twenty years with her child. It is a confusing time for me trying to re-evaluate my life. Trying to be everything for everyone and not having enough time in the day to do it all.

But, this too shall pass and tomorrow will be another day. It has helped to blog about this and try to get some of my thoughts out of my head and onto the screen. Do I sound selfish? I pray not. I want to do what is correct and I want to feel the joy that I have had most of my married life. If any of you have experienced this or have any words of advice, I would greatly appreciate them.

Until next time…

This is about the longest that I’ve gone between posts…over a month. But, I have most of the boxes unpacked and we can now walk through the house without bodily damage. Chaos gets to me pretty quickly, I must admit! I like things well-ordered and in their places. Another area of weakness in my life that God is working on with my full approval. I just need the patience for it…another area He is working on.

Anyway, we went to our oldest daughter’s graduation in upstate New York, packed a moving van with our things from storage and drove back to Kansas…all within a week. The first few days at home were pretty rough trying to fit all of our stuff into a small house that has been empty for two years. Just us rattling around in it. Everyone was tired, tempers were short. But, we all survived and the second oldest is now back in upstate New York starting her first year at the Bible Institute. So, we had a lot of changes in a short period of time and we are looking forward to a few more over the next months. When children start to leave home, things definitely change! I may post more on that later as I understand it better myself.

Gardening…what’s that?! I haven’t been out in the yard since the first week in August. The view from my window shows a pretty dried up expanse with neglected flowers struggling to bloom and make me smile. Another shrub is biting the dust thanks to the neighbor’s dog. Sigh…have called the city police too many times to count on that one! Maybe Barrel Cactus do well here? Would make the dog think twice about approaching it anyway. But we still have tomatoes in the garden and the garden did do well this summer even with the weeds taking a hold on the one side. We have Bermuda grass there and well, that says it all.

I still have projects outside to accomplish before winter. Using up the paint for the house on a second coat, painting the trim on the garage, moving the driveway around back and putting up the fence across the old driveway. I have a rather sick feeling about that fence having a large hole in it when someone tries to get into the driveway. But, I am looking forward to planting there next spring and landscaping that area. That may be our only area of true grass in the yard. The rest is just mown weeds!

Anyway, I pray all of you are off to a good start on the fall season with school starting and cooler weather. As for me…I’m looking forward to some cold weather and snow days snuggled with the children and a hot drink. That’s when I do my best landscaping!

For those of you that stop by to see if I’ve posted, you’ve not had much to read lately. I’ve been posting on my Xanga blog on a regular basis to keep our daughters up to date on the goings on of home. So, for those of you that are interested, check it out! You can get there on my blogroll under Far From Home.

Summer is nearing its end. I’ve accomplished a lot over the summer, especially in the yard. I hope to post here soon about all of that. The heat the past week or so is doing a number on my flowers, but spring will come again and I will have all the energy and excitement that I always do to get a good start on it all. I’m ready for fall and getting things ready for winter. Just a couple of months ago I would have been appalled to say that!

We leave this week for New York to go to our oldest daughter’s graduation from Bible Institute. I’m really looking forward to it. I just pray the ride there goes alright with the two year old. She is not a good traveler. After a rough couple of weeks, (which you can also read about at Far From Home), she really is in bad shape for a long trip. But it will be great once we get there. Then our two oldest will be home for awhile. It will be wonderful to have all seven of us together again.

So, stay cool everyone…I can smell the pumpkin pie and turkey right around the corner!

My friend over at Home Steeped Hope has posted a few times on femininity and modesty for women. I find it rather sad that many women come to the defense of dressing sloppy. So, notice the catagory that this post is put in.

I don’t want to offend anyone by what I say, but I really feel the need to say something.

We visited another church this past Sunday. Since my husband is looking at working some Sundays and Wednesday evenings, I don’t know if I am going to be able to continue to drive the miles we have been to church and partcipate in all that we have been over the years. So, we’ve been visiting some churches in our area.

We have been going to a pretty conservative church, so I knew I needed to be a little more lenient in the area of dressing for church. But what a disappointment it has been! I think the biggest thing that has hit me is the lack of respect for God, His house where we gather to worship. Going to a morning worship service should not be the same for us as going out to mow our lawns or clean the toilet. That may sound harsh, but the way people are dressing for church especially is the way we would have dressed 20+ years ago to do those things.

Now, this has become a problem in many areas. Dress down Fridays started many years ago. Many companies have stopped doing it now because of the affect it had on productivity and attitude. Children go to school dressed very sloppy. I’ve seen people going to the post office and grocery store in their pajamas and slippers! People wear jeans and shorts to weddings and funerals. All of this is bad in my opinion, but going to church like this really ‘takes the cake’!

Without exception, the attitudes to dress sloppy are: everyone else is doing it, I’m expressing myself, I don’t want to make others feel bad by dressing up too much. The bottom line of what people are saying…I just don’t care and I’m thinking about myself!

I’m not saying that everyone should wear a suit and tie. But you can put a little effort into your clothes, especially for Sunday morning. My children’s clothes all come from the local thrift store and my son wears a dress shirt and tie every Sunday morning. It does not cost a lot to dress nicely. So there goes that excuse! I would prefer to see women in dresses for Sunday morning, but even a nice pair of slacks and blouse is much better than the worn out jeans and t-shirts that most women had on yesterday! But, what is wrong with putting on a dress? Most women, even those that say they don’t look good in dresses, do look better in a dress or skirt than tight, old jeans and t-shirt. Ask those that have to look at you! The right kind of skirt or dress can take a thin, overweight, tall, short woman and make her very attractive indeed. The same can not be said for jeans or shorts. Just by the way they are cut and made they draw attention to certain areas that are not so attractive on all of us! You know what I’m saying! A long flowing dress or skirt can hide those kind of areas very well.

So, the next time you pull out the jeans for church or even a pair of pants, check your heart attitude. You’re going to church. Is God, His house, His people worth putting a little effort into in the area of your clothing…or is it just another day to clean the toilet?

I was just looking at my header picture and thinking again how much I love it. It is so peaceful to me. It also reminds me of cool, fall mornings walking to school in upstate New York. There was usually a mist or even fog starting around the end of August and the leaves would be turning and drifting to the wet ground. The air smelled of dirt and rotting things from the long summer. (That doesn’t sound very romantic, does it? LOL) But that is the smell I get in my head when I look at that picture.

It is amazing how our sense of smell will trigger certain memories. Whenever I smell a tiny baby’s hair, I remember the births of my children and all the cuddle time. Whenever I smell certain spices like coriander, dill weed,  I think of my grandparent’s blue and cream-colored kitchen in Denver, Colorado. I know that is why I love blue and white in a kitchen now! The smell of tomato plants always make me think of summer and working in the garden. Usaully because I end up breaking one off while weeding!

Well,  on to the purpose of this post and hence the title!

I used to love riding my bike. My brother and I had a newspaper delivery before our teen years and we rode our bikes everyday doing that. Up and down the steep hills behind our house in Longmont, Colorado. Dogs chasing us…

Well, about five years ago, I was with my sister and brother on Cape Cod. Everyone wanted to ride bikes on the trail that starts about 20+ miles up and heads to Provincetown on the very tip of Cape Cod. The trails are wonderful and very well kept. Everyone had brought their bikes except me…I didn’t have one and they wanted to rent me one. So, I was to try out my brother’s bike to see how I would do since it had been about 20 years since I had ridden.  My brother is now 6′6″, so his bike is pretty big. That was the very first mistake. I got on it, tried to balance without falling on that treacherous bar that men’s bikes have. I think I made one rotation of the pedal before I felt myself going down. I hit hard on my hands and knees, trying not to fall on my head. My brother ran over trying to find out what had happened in the space of about 30 seconds.

That was our first day on the Cape, and I spent it hobbling around the flee market we went to, my knee twice the size it should be and oozing everytime I bent it. Needless to say I wasn’t in any hurry to ride a bike again!

Our second oldest bought a very nice Eddie Bauer bike at the thrift store for $10 just before she left for New York. This bike is in brand new condition! So, she left it here for me to use during the summer and then we are taking it to her in August so she can have it at Bible college. My husband loves to ride as well as our children. That is something they do together every weekend just about while I stay at home, (happily I might add). My husband wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer, so he got me on that bike, with me whining about falling off again and killing myself this time!

But, you know, I DIDN’T! I did so well on that practice run that we took all the bikes out to the Lake and we rode for two miles. I was pretty thrilled. I even made it up a hill that our son had to get out and walk on! You go, mommy!! It was a wonderful feeling to be on that bike again after 25+ years! The wind in my hair, the free feeling, the blisters in areas they shouldn’t be! That’s all I could take. I wanted to be able to walk when I got off. But, I’m back in the saddle again and really looking forward to some riding this summer. My husband used to do about 30 miles at a time, so that will take me some time to get up too…probably never.

But, I’ll wave as I whiz past. Just don’t distract me for too long. I don’t want to crash into a mailbox or flip into a ditch!

I haven’t written here for a couple of weeks…so I thought I’d better catch everyone up. I have been trying to stay pretty relaxed. Just taking it easy and resting. I think we all need that every once in awhile.

Everyone made it up to New York and then back again. The two oldest are having a great time up there and they both really love their jobs this summer. The oldest is the STC secretary. Her sister said the job is just right for her. The oldest is a little OCD, (wonder where she got that from! ;)) So she is having a wonderful time being in charge of an office and organizing everything. I guess she has posters plastered everywhere.  The second oldest is working in the bookstore and loving it. I’m really happy for them and I’m excited for their summer. What a great opportunity!

Husband and son made it back, a few days later than I expected, but they’re here. While they were gone I found out who makes all the laundry and cooking! LOL So I had a mini-vacation from that. They retrieved some more of our things from storage. It always amazes me how much stuff my husband is able to get on our little trailer! So, we now how our head and footboard for our bed, our carpet for our bedroom. That took a day of arranging last week, but it is nice to have it all set up again. Now I just need to finish painting the room I started on a year ago! But, I have the easy part left now.

He also brought back a couple dining room chairs, which we needed, so now we can seat 12 people comfortably. For those of you that have eaten at our house, you know what a blessing that is! You came to our house to eat and you brought your own chair. I also have my wall clocks, a couple of Cracker Barrel rockers which took a good cleaning before I could bring them in the house. But, they have good memories. Those rockers were where I sat and nursed our youngest, and sat, and sat…you get the picture! I always felt like that was about all I did for the first six months of a new baby’s life.

Anyway…we have more stuff now and we will be getting the rest when we go to New York for our oldest’s graduation in August. I have no clue where we will put it all…but it will be wonderful to have it out of storage and feel like a move that we started two years ago is finally over!

But oh, the work I would like to get done inside the house before that all arrives! I have a couple ceilings that need to be redone and it would be so much easier without all that furniture to stumble over. Will have to see how it goes!

The garden is doing fantastic! We should be eating tomatoes in another two weeks! We’ve already had some banana peppers, jalapenos, green beans and even some potatoes. That same dog broke off the tops of the potatoes, so I dug them up so they wouldn’t rot. And of course we’ve been eating lettuce and spinach for a couple of months now. I had the best lettuce crop ever this year. I even had a lot of cantaloupe come up in my compost pile, which I transplanted. They are flowering now, so hopefully we will have some cantaloupe! We’ve had a lot of rain, so it has been hard to stay ahead of the weeds this year. My son and I have both spent way too many hours bent over pulling weeds!

Landscaping is coming along well too. I started a brick walkway to the backyard last week. So I made another flower bed next to it and planted some grass seed. My parents gave me a ton of Hosta, so I broke that up and planted it in the shaded bed with the Impatients. Those two beds are looking good and they are getting crowded enough now that the weeds are at bay. Hosta is one of my favorite shaded area plants. But they are usually pretty expensive. So I was VERY thankful for the Hosta.

Well, that is a quick update…which turned into a little more! Hope your summers are going as well!

I say that with sadness. The last couple of weeks have been very busy with a graduation party, an early 18th birthday party, making a party dress for my second oldest to take with her. All of this to make ready for our second oldest to fly from the nest.

She just left with her father and brother for the long trip to upstate New York where she will be for the next year and a half. She will join her sister there. I am happy for her…but give me a few days to process this new phase of my life in rearing children. For those of you that have not experienced this yet…hug those little ones still with you. Enjoy the years you still have to spend with them before they leave. It all goes by all too quickly.

Cherish the time that you have.

For any of you that are interested, I started posting over at my Xanga site also. I signed up for an account over there back in February so I could comment on my daughter’s blogs. But it was such a hassle I just didn’t post there. But now our second oldest will be leaving in a couple weeks so I wanted it up and running. You can now comment freely on Xanga without having an account, so that makes it a little easier. My blog over there will be mainly to communicate with my daughters and keep them informed of what is going on here in the mid-west. So, it may be a little mundane! I will put it on my blogroll for those of you that are interested.

Another cloudy and rather dreary day here, but there is a nice breeze to go with it. A friend of mine here in town graciously pulled up 20+ Rose of Sharon out of her yard for me…so I planted those all yesterday while it wasn’t raining. I hope they will form a nice hedge in time. The flowers are so pretty in August when they bloom. So, that nice rain we had this morning really helped them out and me too, so I wouldn’t have to water. They all looked great this morning!

The garden is finally taking off. This rain is doing wonders. I think we will have a pretty good turnout of veggies this fall. I’m so excited!!!

You all have a great week-end!

Another gardening update…it is doing well, if the wind doesn’t blow it all away! LOL I was hoping we would get a little rain to go with the wind, but so far that hasn’t happened.

All my tomatoes survived having their leaves eaten off by our mysterious garden visitor. So, now I have 21 plants doing well. I even planted four cherry tomatoes so my youngest two could go out to the garden and ‘graze’ when the mood strikes them. My oldest two will know how lenient I’ve become that I even did that!

I’m so thankful that as I get older I’m becoming more relaxed in so many areas. It has really been a blessing to me and I think I am enjoying life more now that I’m not so uptight about all the little things you really don’t have too much control over anyway!

But, back to the garden. My son and I planted more lettuce; another row, onions, peas and cucumbers last week. They are all coming up. We put up lattice work fencing for them to climb on, but the winds last week took them down. So yesterday, we put them up again with reinforcements. So far they have withstood the gales we have been having for the past day or so.  I am pretty excited about the vegetable garden at this point. I was at a friend’s house today and she was showing me some plants that grow in the yard here. I think she called them Sheep’s Sorrell and Plantain. Well, I’ve been ‘weeding’ those out of my garden for years. I never knew they were so tasty! So, instead of tearing them out and using them for compost, I think I will add a little to our salads. Won’t my children be thrilled? LOL

I also transplanted three shrubs yesterday. Thanks to our neighbor’s dog watering my shrubs I’ve already lost one and it looks like a second is about to bite the dust. So, I planted two new Alberta Spruce and moved the older Emerald Green Arborvitae to the west side of the house. My roses are also coming out of the slump our late freeze put them in. I trimmed them back pretty good and they are all growing. If they can survive the neighbor’s grandchildren across the street until I get the fence up they will do alright.

My son and I have made some progress on the patio. He has done most of the picking to loosen the dirt and the carrying of the slabs of cement. So that has been a huge help. I used to do all that myself, but I just don’t have the strength anymore. A couple more summers and we should have a nice sized patio?! It always seems like that kind of work goes so slow. But, I have already enjoyed it in the late evenings when my work is done. My gardenias should be blooming again soon so I will have their sweet fragrance to help along with the daydreaming!

How do your garden’s grow?